the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
