I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
