saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
