If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
