i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
