the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
