I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
