We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
