That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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