She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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