I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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