Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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