think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
