Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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