I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
