hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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