Do vagina's smell?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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