i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
