I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
