Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
