And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
