i just google imaged poop.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
