Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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