Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
