I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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