Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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