She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
