After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
