Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
