so explain again why im purple
no
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
