My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
farters have to be the big spoon...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
