Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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