Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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