Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
