Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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