Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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