??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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