69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
