My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
