I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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