office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
