I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
