The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
