so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
