Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
