Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
