You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
