Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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