I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
