So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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