can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
