The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
