how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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